Losing Idol

Hello there you amazing people! How’s your day going?

In my yesterdays post I talked about my depression and that I have a little trouble with it right now. Past days everything I can think about is loss, grief and other stuff like this. So today I was thinking about how I lost my idol and how I dealt with it.

First of all, I would like to talk a little about that person. I will tell the name at the end cause I want u to read this post till the end. Maybe some of you will think that I’m stupid fangirl and that he was an awful person(that’s what people said around me and they were laughing at me) he was talentless, he was drug addict and bad thing like this BUT he wasn’t. He was such a talented singer, actor, drummer and even dancer (xD). He simply was a really, really good person and just because he was drug addict doesn’t mean he was bad. You don’t know his story and about his life, which was quite difficult. His problems with alcohol started when he was 13. After dropping out school at 16, he eventually received his high school diploma in 2011 at the age 26. And he did his best to become better and healthier! He was super kind and had such a big and beautiful heart. He was always ready to take pictures with fans, he was was supportive, loved everyone around and always was telling them it. He did many charity things, supported LGBT community with his girlfriend.  Well i can continue and say more amazing thing about him but I will stop there.

I remember this day so clearly. I woke up and first thing I did, I checked my twitter(I was very into it that time) what i saw first was a #1 worldwide trend RIP……. I thought it was another bad joke and clicked on it but there was Demi Lovato’s tweet about, how sorry she was… and for seconds world just stopped. Than I screamed “oh my god, no” my brothers ran into my room asking what happened and when they heard the reason they said “shut up!” and left my room yelling mom about what happened and how stupid I was. My whole family was so cruel with me they were laughing at me and saying i was such an idiot! All my friend also didn’t understand and support me, so I was left alone. I remember that for couple days, almost 1 week I was sitting in my bedroom watching my favorite episodes from his show, listening favorite song, watching funny and tribute videos…and crying, crying, crying… I was sending supportive massages to his girlfriend, cast mates and family members. First thing I did, when I came out from my bedroom I went to the shop and brought necklace with his name. I was wearing it for 2 months even when I was in the shower. Nowadays I’m wearing it when something important is going in my life or when I have depression attacks(like now and I’m wearing it now!) and I kinda feel better you know, I also listen his cover “I’ll Stand By You” and maybe it sounds stupid but I feel like someone is hugging me and saying that everything gets better…d69096e41998da98dd11f5c9f89b67ed

Then the results of autopsy were published and it was officially confirmed that death reason was overdose. I felt so much emptiness and so much pain, moreover I was dealing all alone and under pressure, plus this was first person who’s death really affected me. I mean I was 15 and I didn’t lose anybody before, expect my whole life best friend but I was only 5-6 at this time…. “Christopher Hall, the director of the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement, says the death of a celebrity you admire can cause as much grief as the loss of any other relationship. “In many ways [this type of] grief can be very similar,” he says. “Grief is the price we pay for love, and for many people, the love and affection they have for celebrities, particularly people they can relate to, can be strongly felt.”… (Read more at http://www.girlfriend.com.au/article/mind-body-life/mind-body-life-friends-and-family-advice-losing-an-idol-how-to-deal#9SYOjVIcD55zCCeD.99)


So the person who I’m talking about is Glee star Cory Monteith aka Finn Hudson. I can say that Glee changed my life. Finn Hudson played a huge role in becoming who I am today… I have to do my homework now so I will stop here.14483516_1256799601031976_1626581669_n

this is a little tribute in my room…




Hope you will like post…Tell me your stories about losing idol and dealing with it, every comment would mean so much!

girl online going offline. x


6 thoughts on “Losing Idol

  1. Looking for the Light Blog says:

    Hi friend
    Before I forget..I want to thank you for following my blog, I look forward to seeing you again. I believe we can all learn from each other if we open our mind and heart. I’m now 53, suffered with severe Bipolar Disorder most of my life, lost my father to suicide and had many close calls with death myself. Why do I tell you, I believe it shows you who I am and my blog discusses my battles and victories. Mental illness or situational depression can have a traumatic impact, we have to learn how to cope at a time coping doesn’t feel possible. I’m a fan girl, I’m totally into music, believe I was born signing and dancing. I’ve mourned many know and unknown celebrities. I don’t think it’s unusual at all that you would grieve Cory. I grieved Elvis, Prince, Princess Diana, many people who I enjoyed their music or example lead in their life.
    Stay strong, don’t let others laugh at you or ridicule you. True friends, love you for the person you are, not who they think you are or should be. Every Thursday is music day, I pick a couple of tunes, depends on how feeling as to what I pick. I am a true 70-80’s Rocker but listen to most to keep mind open.
    Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. girlonlinefromgeorgia says:

    oh my god, M thank you so much for a best comment ever! I’m fighting with depression and anxiety, and I’m also under risk of bipolar disorder… The thing is that I have no one who I can relay on, yes my friend love me but until I’m happy and caring friend and I do everything for them… Mom loves me as she can but when it comes to depression and stuff like this she don’t take it serious until I lock in my room and don’t get up from bed… we are so different and she can’t understand me, i know that she loves me but she isn’t supportive at all.. it makes everything twice difficult..
    anyways thanks again for worm words xx


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